7 steps to move forward from career and life transitions that burn

7 steps to move forward from career and life transitions that burn7 steps to move forward from career and life transitions that burnLife and career transitions carry some of the biggest heartaches of our lives relocation, divorce, job loss, aging parents, relationship changes, health challenges, the death of a loved one, friends who move away. We feel lost, rejected, angry, afraid, and abandoned, alone.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFollow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreOften the biggest influencer in these situations is elend the transition itself but, the story we attach to it. When the story generates from a distribution policy of fear we get stuck.Dispel Your Stuck StoryDefine your perception of the situation the version that you relive over and over in your head. It might be a fear of what will happen in the future. It might be about health, relationships, career, financial security. It might be guilt about the past. You may feel like a victim or alone and that things will never change. What is your stuck story? Who is in it? Who do you blame for where you are? What is the worst possible outcome that could happen? We can dispel what we own. If we cant face and own the thoughts that chase us down, we just keep running away from them. And then not only are we unhappy but also exhausted.Define Your Ideal LifeBe realistic. Skip the pat scenarios such as My family is around me and we are all healthy. We all want that. Give specifics of what the day looks like. What is the environment? What is going on in the morning, afternoon, evening? Who is there?Know what big assumption holds you backWhat is the main assumption that halts your progress? That your health will fail? That youll never have another job you like? That you arent capable? That you arent smart, educated, cute, or good enough? That others are better? That youll be alone?Name what your stuck story is costing youBe precise. Have y ou wasted time and precious relationships perseverating on assumptions? Has it cost you applying for stretch jobs outside of your area of comfort or meeting the right people? Has it cost you sleep? Friends? Relationships? Money? Freedom?Identify tradeoffs you will makeClearly, your stuck story and your ideal day are not in alignment. Something has to come to an end for you to move on. What are you willing to let go of? Are you ready to stop blaming? Can you admit how your situation makes you feel so that you can move on instead of armoring up against a feeling that makes you uncomfortable and then feeling frustrated and alone? Can you accept less than ideal as long as it does not compromise your values? What are you willing to give up?Understand that nobody owes you anything and life is not fairIf you want to move on it is time to retire your stuck story and more importantly any blame, shame, anger, or fear associated with it. It is up to you to write a new ending to an old tale. Th is is where power is. Let go of expectations. They kill happiness and progress.Develop self-compassionDevelop mindful daily practices that build resilience and grow confidence meditation, physical activity, crafts, reading, prayer, walks. Build your awareness such that when you notice you are doubting yourself, take a deep breath and say, May I be gentle with myself at this moment. Self-care helps you get over the fear of rejection. It helps you treat yourself the way you would treat a friend. When someone says No to you they dont give it another thought. Why should you? Self-compassion helps you detach from internalizing rejection.Build your executive presence in moments of doubt when you need self-compassion with the five steps in this Pause Caf Tip Sheet.Mary Lee Gannon, ACC, CAE is an executive coach and corporate CEO who helps busy leaders get off the treadmill to nowhere to be more effective, earn more, be calmer and enjoy connected relationships with the people who matter wh ile it still matters. Watch her FREE Master Class training on Three Things to Transform Your Life and Career Right Now atwww.MaryLeeGannon.com.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklins daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people